For many, the holidays bring about mixed feelings. If you are anything like me, you share a love/hate relationship with every holiday. I enjoy seeing familiar faces, but I’m reminded of the faces I’ll never see again and it hurts. Many haven’t seen their families in months and maybe years, and have that to look forward to this year
Then there are the grievers who have lost the people who mean the most to them, and wish for the season to come and go simply because it’s too painful to dwell on.
The pain of losing someone doesn’t truly settle in until these seasons come around, and that’s when it hits you the hardest. “They are never coming back.“
If you’ve lost children you can’t stand to even see or even hear about the many gifts friends and family will be buying their own because you remember that you’ll never have the opportunity to do it for the ones you lost. You are grateful for the ones you have, but the pain doesn’t simply disappear, and your present children do not replace the ones you‘ve lost.
Maybe you lost a parent/guardian. That’s a loss that very few will understand because you’ve known that person your whole
life, and you once upon a time your entire being depended on them. You learned their ways, they’ve grown with you, and you simply can’t picture a world without them until one day they are just gone.
For months you’ve been able to avoid the subject, you’ve even kept busy to keep from dwelling on the trauma. It sucks, and it’s a hard road to venture down.
The only advice I can give is if you find yourself going down the path of healing, and it becomes too much for you, take a few steps back.
As misguiding as this may seem, we all grieve at our own pace. ”Getting over it“ is a waiting game you’ll never truly master, so learn to deal with your emotion.
For myself, I’m not one to dwell on tragic events, but I tend to let it all build up and then breakdown. I wouldn’t say this is healthy, but this is all I know because no one can truly teach you how to grieve.
I’m learning that I’m only as strong as I allow myself to be. I used to think that crying was a symbol of weakness, but have come to understand that it is my body’s way of keeping me strong. The more I cry, the more stress and tension I release. A sense of calming typically settles in, and then I’m good until the next episode comes about.
As much as it hurts, I have to talk about the losses. I have to acknowledge them for what they meant to me, and I have to be honest with myself and how I feel.
During this season of emptiness, I hope that we all find a silver-lining and find that one thing to keep us moving forward. You can’t replace or bring back the ones you lost, but you can honor them by taking care of yourself. This year I welcomed all emotions into my life, and I’m so glad I did!
Your definition of “okay” will be totally different from others. Remember your importance on Earth, and cherish the few great moments you have because it really does get better!
You are not alone out here, and I know how much it hurts to feel alone during this time. The beauty about it all is that you are never truly alone when you have Guardian Angels looking over you day and night.
I pray you find comfort and peace in this, and may we all continue healing and growing in the New Year.
Much Love,
Aleisha Kay
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