Uh oh!!
You’ve read the title and instantly began thinking this is going to be good!
Well you’re right, it is! So just sit down and read it!
I was always raised to believe that sex before marriage was a sin, and was looked at as wrong in God’s eyes. It scared me to even think of others in this way because those thoughts were also considered sinful.
No disrespect to the one’s who raised me, but I can say I would not be where I am today in my marriage without taking the leap to lose my virginity.
You see, I had met several awesome partners prior to my husband, and they made me believe that they were “God sent.” You don’t and won’t truly find out a person until after you’ve engaged in sexual relations!
I won’t go in to too much detail, but the same men who I felt were “husband material” were the same ones who became lazy, rude, careless, and just outright disappointing after sexual intercourse.
I’m happy I had sex before EVER deciding to marry one of the guys that I felt were perfect. I know what the Bible says, and I know it speaks about it being a sin, but how many people have actually stayed married to the same person that they lost their virginity too?
If they are still married, how many of them are still happy? Shoot, how many of them still sleep in the same bedroom?
I’m not trying to downplay the importance of marriage because it is a beautiful thing, but it’s not if you’re not with the right partner.
I would have never been truly happy with the guys I had dated in the past. I got to know the true parts of them after sex, and that helped me make my final decision on whether or not they’d be husband material.
Parents warn their sons and daughters about the importance of abstinence prior to marriage. Most will partake in some form of sexual activity before the age of 18, so teach them the importance of their worth regardless on if they wait till marriage or not!
Women and men can be very convincing, and it’s in our nature to be seductive and tempting. That’s why it’s important to truly get to know your partner before you sign a document legally binding you!
No, sex doesn’t make a marriage, but it can definitely destroy one!
Speaking from my own experience, the silver lining for me with my husband was his consistency. It didn’t matter what we were doing, he always treated me like a Queen. Our first encounter wasn’t meant to be long term if you catch my drift, but his genuine interest and respect for me prior to truly getting to know him is what kept me attracted to him.
I won’t say that we wouldn’t be married today had we had chosen to wait until marriage, but I will tell you that we would have had ALOT to figure out if he had just switched things up on me after marriage.
People make you believe that if you wait to have sex until marriage, you’ll be happier and feel better and closer to your partner. Maybe this is the case for some. I can tell you now that I truly would have felt robbed of my free will and choice!
I learned a long time ago that you should not conform to appease others. I would not have been happy waiting until marriage, and I would have had MAJOR regrets.
You are not a bad person for wanting to experience sex before marriage, and if you choose to do so make sure that you’re ready for the roller coaster of emotions that comes shortly after that.
Your first time is not as glorious as the movies would have you think. It’s actually quite terrible for the female at first, and if you are a male I can guarantee your partner won’t be “satisfied” after just 10 seconds.
Sorry guys, I just want to be honest with you.
Your wedding night should be special, and memorable. It shouldn’t be a time where you question your partner’s interest in you, his ability to “perform”, her ability to “satisfy you” and so forth.
I do believe that God lives within my husband and I, and he brought us together in a very unexpected way. At the end of the day, it’s about how you and your partner feels about it and it’s really no one else’s business.
Sexual health plays a major role in a marriage, and being able to confidently go into a marriage knowing your capabilities, wants, and needs sets you and your partner up for a “fun” and sensual adventure together! So do what you need to do to better prepare yourself for a life long commitment!
If you need a non-judgmental ear, I’m here for you! Feel free to like, share, and subscribe!
Much Love
Aleisha Kay
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